I recently (as in about an hour ago) discovered the effects of a successful meditation. I'm not talking about religious meditation or anything spooky with floating candles or deep emotional revelations. Satisfactions reveal themselves in simpler and smaller packages. I had to create a method of meditation suited for me based upon what I have read about other meditators and their experiences.
Stripping my comforter to the back of my bed over my pillows was only the first step. I covered everything with my top sheet creating a grey surface for me to connect to. I had my large bed flat with it's grey sheet and a large inviting mass against the footboard covered in the other grey sheet. Grey is my color because of my natural artistic eye, grey naturally calms me. Grey is the most nuetral I can get next to pure white. However, grey is a smoother color, a little more loving to me, a little less hospital sheet-ish. Music poured from my laptop to my headphones to sooth my racing mind. I chose melodies with gentle percussion and complex and playful lyrics. Strictly instrumental would have left me dead. My legs crossed and my back straitened so that I could feel as whole as possible. I focused my attention on the point of symmetry on my headboard. I slowed my breathing and deepened each breath. I let my eyes focus on the point as my mind concentrated on my breathing until I felt I was completely in control of my body.
I closed my eyes slowly and simultaniously with a smooth intake of breath. I kept my concentration on my breathing, trying to create and maintain a rhythm while I shifted my focus from the point on the bed to the weightlessness of my body. Particularly the points at the balls of my shoulders. I felt my body lose pull and shifted my center of gravity upward. I kept my focus on my wheitlessness until I had lost all feeling of attachment to my body completely. I concentrated on my breathing for a while longer and reveled in my moment of floating unimbodied for just a few seconds before turning my attention elsewhere.
I imagined I was in a space. An empty space, void of anything solid. No walls, no furniture, no anything. My body, the sound of the music with no source, and the nothing was all that I had. Colors changed with the movement of the music. Slowly I shifted my empty space into a personal location. I tried and island at first, with short grass and sandy beaches. Water makes me uncomfortable so I extened the land and let the grass grow tall until I had a field made in various shades of dancing yellows, greens, browns, limes, and greys. I felt the warmth of a fire and looked to see a large sun beaming overhead. My element is earth and I have a warm personality so it only makes sense that my closest second element would be fire. Once I had my location created I just lay in it, memorizing it. I memorized the feel of the sun on my skin, the smell of the grass in my face and against the back of my head as I let it mingle with my hair spread out around me on the ground. I soaked in the every detail of each individual blade of grass tall and slinder and graceful as a trained dancer. I remained in my feild until I felt I was 'done'. I could tell because I was slowly becoming more aware of physical things that were not in my imagination. I finally let go of my image and took one deep breath. I opened my eyes as slow as possible in time with the release of my last breath taken in my field.
My vision was slightly blurry and I felt light and then suddenly everything came into a sharp and harsh focus while the full weight of my body made itself known again. I am back in the real world but I feel calmer and cleaner with the memory of my field.
I'm going to visit my field again tomorrow when I wake up. I feel it will be a great way to start my day.
If anyone has any suggestions to help me meditate more successfully then I am open to change. Just please remember that I am aiming to use meditation as a temporary escape into a clearer part of my mind, not a way to get deeper thoughts on the problems I already have. Deeper thoughts is the problem I am trying to escape with this. Perhaps after I get used to meditaion and the calm I feel then I can use it to help me solve problems in a more rational way or to keep me stable every day. I feel like it's a great way to, for lack of a better way to say it, detox my mind.
